PROFOUND THINKING PART II

And who is Edina Liquor, you may ask.......

Well, they're none other than a municipally-owned store......the City of Edina, Minnesota.....

Edina Liquor

PROFOUND THINKING.....or a lack thereof

This has to be one for the ages........

Some dumfuck with a 15-watt bulb for a brain decided that this article was a great place to insert an Edina Liquor ad right after the third paragraph.....and I'll bet it wasn't someone from Edina Liquor.......

High Crimes

Now, I'm sure that someone will very quickly point out to them that they're complete morons, so I'd be willing to bet that it won't be there much longer (the ad, I mean.....the article, I'm certain, will remain, because it's a reasonably good one).

Not to worry.....I've printed it out as well as saved it on my computer......they won't get by that easily.....I'll be more than happy to email a copy of the original to anyone interested.....

MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS

My apologies to Maria Muldaur........

I was just doing some reading on a right-wing web site called War Footing (10 Steps America Must Take to Prevail in the War for the Free World)....... They have a blog.....who doesn't?...... in which they were discussing the takeover of P&O by Dubai Ports and the shady maneuvering that went on to approve the deal, as well as the motives........

One responder, named "Maria", posted this:

One cold night, as an Arab sat in his tent, a camel gently thrust his nose under the flap and looked in. "Master," he said, "let me put my nose in your tent. It's cold and stormy out here." "By all means," said the Arab, "and welcome," as he turned over and went to sleep.

A little later the Arab awoke to find that the camel had not only put his nose in the tent but his head and neck also. The camel, who had been turning his head fom side to side, said "I will take but little more room if I place my forelegs within the tent. It is difficult standing out here." "Yes, you may put your forelegs within," said the Arab, moving to make room, for the tent was small.

Finally, the camel said, "May I not stand wholly inside? I keep the tent open by standing as I do." "Yes, yes," said the Arab. "Come wholly inside. Perhaps it will be better for both of us."

So the camel crowded in. The Arab, with difficulty in the crowded quarters, again went to sleep.

When he awoke the next time, he was outside in the cold and the camel had the tent to himself.

CHENEY'S GOT A GUN.....BEST YET!!!!!!

'Nuff said.........

Cheney

COMPLETE THE INSCRIPTION......SOON!!!!!!!

President George W. Bush admires a bust of himself (what's the bust wearing? a flight jacket?) presented in his honor Thursday, Feb. 9, 2006 at the National Guard Memorial Building in Washington.

Okay, I'm sure that it isn't complete because...... ya never know....and 2009 is so far away.....too far away.......maybe a heart attack? Fallin' off the mountain bike? Bitten by a scorpion while clearin' brush? That bloated Cheney sits on him 'cause he didn't see he was there, a la Whittingham? Laura catches him with Condi? Intellect that he is, he sticks a nail into a wall socket (can'tcha just see him, concentratin' real hard, tryin' to figger out which end of the nail will fit in there, with his tongue stickin' outa the corner of his mouth)? He tries to read "Doonesbury" one Sunday but the strain of comprehension is more than he can handle? Putin or Blair figger he lives on Brokeback Mountain rather than in Crawford? His silver-haired momma decides she's had enuff o' his shit & cracks him upside the head? Ditto Senior? He decides to ride in a convertible in a motorcade through downtown Baghdad? Hillary convinces him that she just wants a one-nighter? God reminds him that it's me they trust, not you?

As you can see, the possibilities are endless....which is more than I can say about his intellectual prowess.......or, as Molly Ivins has said, "Hell, no, he ain't stupid......but he's......challenged."

My most fervent hope, though? Impeach the motherfucker!!!!!!!

IT'S THE HEAT, STUPID!

Global warming.....

Yeah, there's no doubt it's happening....not in my mind, anyway....or in the minds of the scientific community and the population in general.....with the exception of a few nimrods like Bush and Michael Crichton.

But why? The prevailing theory is greenhouse gases, of course....carbon dioxide in particular....but the way I look at it, all that carbon dioxide should just make plants and trees grow faster and larger.

It's the HEAT, stupid!!!!

I'm sittin' here right now watchin' my world population clock....it's tickin' off another 3 people every second....that's more than a quarter million every day, folks...or about 93,000,000 every fuckin' year.......

Okay, let's roll back about a hundred years......to 1900......back then, the world population was 1.6 billion.....today it's 6.6 billion.....that's an extra 5 billion people runnin' around with their thermostats stuck at 98.6 degrees......like a swarm of tiny space heaters.

What were they driving back in 1900? Horses.......now, of course, there's 600,000,000 passenger cars in the world. And, no....that figure doesn't include SUV's, trucks, buses, trains, boats, airplanes, space shuttles, lawn mowers, snow blowers, snowmobiles, ATV's, weedwhackers, chain saws, generators, rototillers, farm machinery, construction equipment, zambonis.......suffice it to say that internal combustion engines in use today total far more than one engine per each of the planet's 6 1/2 billion inhabitants.......

By now, you've probably figured out that those items create one helluva lotta total heat. Not only that, but think of the amount of heat that was generated to produce all of those engines....and before that, all of the heat that was generated to produce the machinery and the parts used in the factories........and before that, the amount of heat generated to mine, pump, and transport all of the fuel that was consumed in the raw material production.

But let's not stop there......we've gotta heat billions of dwellings, schools, offices, factories, stores, etc......or, even worse, cool those structures.....which actually generates more heat than heating them.....one of the most inefficient processes ever.....and then, of course, we just have to cool our vehicles.....which multiplies the amount of heat all of those billions of engines produce.

But you use electric heat, you say? Sorry, you certainly aren't off the hook......think about how much heat is generated to produce all of that electricity.......or the electricity to run your air conditioner, or all of your appliances, or your lights, or.......I live in Minnesota....for the last several days, it's been about -20 degrees around here......50 degrees below freezing......do you suppose that the Mississippi river freezes up around here? Hell, no......the power plants dump all of the hot water generated in the process into the river......

Sure, the planet has ways of cooling itself off.....like evaporation.....and of course the sun doesn't shine at night......but it's gotta be getting tired......turn on that 1500-watt hair dryer of yours, stick it in your refrigerator, close the door, and see if the poor 'fridge can keep up......

It's the heat, stupid......

THE NEW MOUNT RUSHMORE

Well, OK......That's the opinion of the RNC web site, evidently (surprise!)......

Any contrarians out there? Please comment.......Of course, try to avoid being obscene (I know, I know.....), uncivil, liberal, rational, intelligent, pragmatic, empathetic, questioning, or disobedient......

After all, the NSA, your elder male sibling (big brother, to you red-staters) , is your role model, your advisor, and your confidant....we wouldn't want to betray our belief and trust in him.........would we?!?

Huh? Answer me!!! Would we, you liberal, tree-huggin', non-pollutin', pro-Kyoto, pro-choice, anti-gun (oops...poor timing), negotiatin', diplomatic, anti-war, peace-lovin', sensible son of a non-Rebublican????!!??

HUH??????? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!

DJIBOUTI??

The Washington Post today contained an article stating that 2 U.S. Marine helicopters had crashed off the coast of Djibouti.......not only that, but it mentioned the Marines had a military base there......(surprise, surprise).....named Camp Lemonier.

Actually, it's Camp Le Monier.......In 2001, it was a former military barracks for the French Foreign Legion, which had been abandoned for years.....the buildings had been stripped of pipes and wiring, the roofs had collapsed, goats roamed the property, and birds had taken to roost in what was left of the structures.

Anyway, the Marines decided to rebuild the place, finally moving into the facility in May of 2003. Its facilities and support operations are administered (surprise, surprise) by Halliburton subsidiary KB&R. It's the home of the CJTF-HOA (Combined Joint Task Force-Horn of Africa).

Reportedly, the CIA has also been using it as a staging ground for unmanned RQ-1 Predator drone aircraft used to track and attack Al-Qaeda operatives.

But enough about that....what I wanted to know was: where the hell is Djibouti? Apart from the US military, who's there? What do they do?

So, I decided that the best way to find out about this garden spot was by logging on to the CIA web site, which is a virtual treasure trove of minutae and statistics......Last updated on January 10, 2006, here are some of the highlights:

It was a French Territory until 1977, when it became independent Djibouti, and was, of course, a dictatorship until a civil war that lasted throughout the 90's ended in a peace accord in 2001.

It's sandwiched between Somalia, Ethiopia, and Eritrea on the Gulf of Aden, near the mouth of the Red Sea.

Size: slightly smaller than Massachusetts

Climate: desert, torrid, dry

Natural Resources: geothermal areas, clay, granite, linestone, marble, salt, diatomite, pumice

Arable land: 0.04%

Permanent crops: 0%

Natural hazards: earthquakes, droughts, flash floods from cyclonic disturbances

Environmental Issues: inadequate supplies of potable water, desertification

Geography: mostly wasteland, strategic location to shipping lanes and Arabian oilfields

Population: 476,000

Median Age: 18

Infant Mortality Rate: 10.4%

Life Expectancy: 43

HIV/AIDS prevalence rate: 3%

Major Infectious Diseases: degree of risk: high
food or waterborne: diarrhea, hepatitus A and E, typhoid
vectorborne: malaria

Religions: Muslim 94%, Christian 6%

Official Languages: French, Arabic

Ethnic Groups: Somali 60%, Afar 35%, French, Arab, Ethiopian, and Italian 5%

Literacy: 67% (male 78%, female 58%)

GDP: $619 million ($1300 per capita)

Unemployment rate: 50%

Agriculture products: fruits, vegetables; goats, sheep, camels, animal hides

Industries: construction, salt

Telephones: wired 9500, cellular 23,000 (2003)

Radio stations: 1 AM, 1 FM

TV stations: 1

Internet country code: .dj

Internet users: 6500

Airports: 13 (3 with paved runways)

Railways: 1 (63 miles total track, under joint control with Ethiopia)

Roadways: 1806 miles (227 paved)

Merchant Marine: 1 cargo ship

Economic Overview:
The economy is based on service activities connected with the country's strategic location as a free trade zone in northeast Africa. Two-thirds of the inhabitants live in the capital city (Djibouti); the remainder are mostly nomadic herders. Scanty rainfall limits crop production to fruits and vegetables, and most food must be imported. Djibouti provides services as a transit port for the region and as an international transshipment and refueling center. Djibouti has few natural resources and little industry. The nation is, therefore, heavily dependent on foreign assistance to help support its balance of payments and to finance development projects. An unemployment rate of at least 50% continues to be a major problem. While inflation is not a concern, due to the fixed tie of the Djiboutian franc to the US dollar, the artificially high value of the Djiboutian franc adversely affacts Djibouti's balance of payments. Per capita consumption dropped an estimated 35% over the last seven years because of recession, civil war, and a high population growth rate (including immigrants and refugees). Faced with a multitude of economic difficulties, the government has fallen in arrears on long-term external debt and has been struggling to meet the stipulations of foreign aid donors.

So, there y'are.....hardly sounds like a great travel destination or a good spot for a retirement home, does it? Musta been easy pickings for the US military to negotiate a lease......

WEEKEND WARRIOR

IS BOB NEWHART A MEMBER OF HAMAS??

The following telephone conversation was intercepted by the NSA the morning following Hamas' victory in the Palestanian elections, between Farhat Assad, the local Hamas spokesman, and an as yet unknown affiliate......unfortunately, it should be noted, only one side of the conversation was able to be recorded and transcribed......this, of course, should in no way be construed as ineptness on the part of the NSA.......it's just that.....well, you know how it goes....when you're up to your eyeballs in millions of illegal wiretaps, shit happens..... :

"Hello? Oh.....hi, Farhat....How're the figs hangin'?....Huh?....We what?.....whaddya mean, we won?.....Stop pullin' my.......Really?......C'mon.....Hamas had only 44% of the popular vote.......But we got 56% of the seats?.........How'd that happen?.....Huh?......But I thought that only happened in America......Huh?.......aaah......Diebold.........Wow! Ain't this Democracy shit great?......Say again, Farhat?.....What?.....Teach you what?......Diplomacy?.....Statesmanship?......Management?......Me?.....Why me?......Because I can read?......But that doesn't make me.....In the name of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Farhat, my degree is in Islamic Studies, with a minor in Personal Pyrotechnics....what could I possibly know about peaceful diplomacy?.....We never covered that in the Madrasa or in the camps, you know.....What?......Sure, I suppose I could read up on it, but.......the expert is who?......Dale Carnegie?.....Who's?......A Western Capitalist?........C'mon, Farhat, you know that goes against all of our.......Fight fire with fire?......But......Okay, okay.....I'll run in to Ramallah's main bookstore tomorrow and see if........What?.....Your cousin already checked?......Your stepbrother, too?....Whaddya mean, sold out?......Both copies?.....Well, I'll be a camel's uncle.....But in that case, where am I gonna......Wait a minute!! I know this Imam in Copenhagen.....Maybe he can.....Call you back tomorrow, in the name of the holy Prophet (PBUH)......."

A BLIGHT, A BLIGE, AND A BLINK.........

Now, this'll warm your cockles.......62-year-old Barry Manilow has landed atop the Billboard charts as No. 1 for the first time in 29 years...... Manilow's "The Greatest Songs of the Fifties" debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart, followed by Mary J. Blige's "The Breakthrough" and Andrea Bocelli's "Amore".......

Okay, let's see if we can follow this.......

Andrea Bocelli is some blind Italian opera guy......how many albums is that gonna sell....43?

Mary J. Blige has had no less than 21 albums released in the last couple years or so.....lessee...she's some kinda hip-hop-or-rap-or-whatever-they-call-it-now kinda gal, ain't she? Chronologically, her albums are as follows:

Real Love
What's the 411
What's the 411 (Remix)
My Life
I Can Love You
Share My World
The Tour (Live versions above the above 3-3 1/2 albums, I suppose)
Share My World (Japan Bonus Track)......WTF?
Mary
Mary(Import Bonus Tracks).....WTF?
Ballads
No More Drama
No More Drama (Japan Bonus Track)....WTF?
No More Drama (US Bonus Tracks).....WTF?
Family Affair (UK CD).....WTF?
Dance for Me (A Buncha Remixes)
Love @ First Sight
Love & Life (Love @ First Sight but not with radio intros, evidently....)
Love & Life (Bonus DVD)....WTF?
Love & Life (UK Bonus Tracks)...WTF?
The Breakthrough........Okay, now wait a minute........she's only breakin' through now?
What were the last 10 (or so) of 21 ? Breaking in?

Okay, let's be honest......

Mary can't be sellin' much, or she wouldn't be re-releasing the same old shit with bonus tracks or whatever over & over........

And like I said before.....how many albums is a blind Italian opera guy gonna sell, really?

So what does Barry's number 1 status really mean?

It means that:

a) the whopping 156,000 albums sold so far by Barry (btw, what'll that figure actually pan out to be when the retailers start returning the unsold "sold" copies to the distributor?) were probably bought by female senior citizens hoping to reclaim their youthful memories, or by female senior citizens in delusion about said memories, or by female senior citizens who wish they had such memories...... in any case were probably purchased over the phone, winsomely, in response to a late-night ad during re-runs of "Mayberry, RFD"......

b) M.J. Blige is really overhyped, overrated, oversaturated, and overexposed.....if you can't beat Barry Manilow, and are in a close race with some blind Italian opera guy for third place, you have a limited future......

c) if you're a blind Italian opera guy, and you're in the number 3 spot behind a has-been and a nearly has-been, or never-really-was-been, you're still a blind Italian opera guy......

Remember the old days, when the top spots were contested by the likes of Hendrix, Springsteen, Dylan, Joplin, Cream, The Doobie Brothers, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, The Stones, Sly, CCR, CSN&Y, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Bonnie Raitt, Frampton, ARS, the Allman Bros., Cat Stevens, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Supertramp, Bob Seeger, Al Stewart, Boz Scaggs, BB King, JJ Cale, Billy Joel, Lynard Skynard, Ronstadt, Yes, Rush, the Eagles, Heart, Kenny Loggins, Styx, ELO, Queen, Jethro Tull, Little Feat, Fleetwood Mac, Jefferson Starship, Steely Dan, The Who, Blondie, Led Zeppelin, The Cars, Van Morrison, Elton John, Bob Marley, Carly Simon, Paul Simon, ad infinitum.........??

Today we get a blight, a blige, and a blink.......

MUHAMMAD CARTOONS

In case anybody out there is curious about what monstrosities have created all the current fuss, but you haven't even been able to actually see said monstrosities, the Muhammad cartoons are here.

BLOGSPOT,GOOGLE, & THE CORPORATE WAY.....

I decided to sit down this evening to catch up on my favorite blogger, Neil Shakespeare ...... Well, wouldn't ya know.....Blogspot is down........

So, I emailed Neil...... he sez "Yeah, out intermittently all day yesterday and then for six hours last night. Now it's been down again since about 3 or 4 o'clock this afternoon. There was a note when I looked for 'Help' yesterday that said 'Some of our servers are down'....wonder how many Google has?"

Well, I don't know how many servers they have, but Christ! If their servers can handle maybe a half billion searches every day, Blogspot usage is peanuts.....no, let me re-phrase that....it ain't even like one shard of that fuckin' brown husk on the outside of a Spanish peanut that keeps gettin' stuck between your teeth and, like one o' them flimsy li'l popcorns hulls, gets stuck down like a suction cup on the back o' your fuckin' tongue, an' no matter what you do, be it hack, cough, choke, or dig yer finger 'way back there, hopin' to dislodge it, at the same time cursin' the fact that you cut your fingernails just that morning, an'.........

....never mind......

As I wuz gonna say......Page & Brin, since their billions are all locked up & the bean-counters rule the Google roost, and now being a publicly-held company, in the best interest of their shareholders (themselves first and foremost, still holding the lion's share of the stock), upon the recommendation of the Board of Directors (comprised, of course, by representatives of the banks and brokerages that underwrote their IPO and hold the next largest blocks of stock as their reward, at a substantially reduced price), and with the Almighty Bottom Line as their beacon and guiding light,.......

....sorry again.......

I have it on good authority that a determination was made, recognizing that they would be able to increase their EPS for the forward-looking quarter by as much as $0.004 per common share, excluding one-time charges, fully- diluted, from a non-GAAP standpoint, 3% above Wall Street analysts' expectations...........

....yada, yada, yada.......

They outsourced the administration and day-to-day operations of the Blogspot unit to Emil's Axle-greasing, Tires, and IT Technology, LLC (OTC:BB Listing EATIT), a recent startup venture located in the tech-rich Chippewa River Valley of Voidsville.