IS BOB NEWHART A MEMBER OF HAMAS??
The following telephone conversation was intercepted by the NSA the morning following Hamas' victory in the Palestanian elections, between Farhat Assad, the local Hamas spokesman, and an as yet unknown affiliate......unfortunately, it should be noted, only one side of the conversation was able to be recorded and transcribed......this, of course, should in no way be construed as ineptness on the part of the NSA.......it's just that.....well, you know how it goes....when you're up to your eyeballs in millions of illegal wiretaps, shit happens..... :
"Hello? Oh.....hi, Farhat....How're the figs hangin'?....Huh?....We what?.....whaddya mean, we won?.....Stop pullin' my.......Really?......C'mon.....Hamas had only 44% of the popular vote.......But we got 56% of the seats?.........How'd that happen?.....Huh?......But I thought that only happened in America......Huh?.......aaah......Diebold.........Wow! Ain't this Democracy shit great?......Say again, Farhat?.....What?.....Teach you what?......Diplomacy?.....Statesmanship?......Management?......Me?.....Why me?......Because I can read?......But that doesn't make me.....In the name of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Farhat, my degree is in Islamic Studies, with a minor in Personal Pyrotechnics....what could I possibly know about peaceful diplomacy?.....We never covered that in the Madrasa or in the camps, you know.....What?......Sure, I suppose I could read up on it, but.......the expert is who?......Dale Carnegie?.....Who's?......A Western Capitalist?........C'mon, Farhat, you know that goes against all of our.......Fight fire with fire?......But......Okay, okay.....I'll run in to Ramallah's main bookstore tomorrow and see if........What?.....Your cousin already checked?......Your stepbrother, too?....Whaddya mean, sold out?......Both copies?.....Well, I'll be a camel's uncle.....But in that case, where am I gonna......Wait a minute!! I know this Imam in Copenhagen.....Maybe he can.....Call you back tomorrow, in the name of the holy Prophet (PBUH)......."
"Hello? Oh.....hi, Farhat....How're the figs hangin'?....Huh?....We what?.....whaddya mean, we won?.....Stop pullin' my.......Really?......C'mon.....Hamas had only 44% of the popular vote.......But we got 56% of the seats?.........How'd that happen?.....Huh?......But I thought that only happened in America......Huh?.......aaah......Diebold.........Wow! Ain't this Democracy shit great?......Say again, Farhat?.....What?.....Teach you what?......Diplomacy?.....Statesmanship?......Management?......Me?.....Why me?......Because I can read?......But that doesn't make me.....In the name of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Farhat, my degree is in Islamic Studies, with a minor in Personal Pyrotechnics....what could I possibly know about peaceful diplomacy?.....We never covered that in the Madrasa or in the camps, you know.....What?......Sure, I suppose I could read up on it, but.......the expert is who?......Dale Carnegie?.....Who's?......A Western Capitalist?........C'mon, Farhat, you know that goes against all of our.......Fight fire with fire?......But......Okay, okay.....I'll run in to Ramallah's main bookstore tomorrow and see if........What?.....Your cousin already checked?......Your stepbrother, too?....Whaddya mean, sold out?......Both copies?.....Well, I'll be a camel's uncle.....But in that case, where am I gonna......Wait a minute!! I know this Imam in Copenhagen.....Maybe he can.....Call you back tomorrow, in the name of the holy Prophet (PBUH)......."
posted by Sir Lacksalot at 9:34 PM
1 Comments:
Bob Newhart? I am SHOCKED! This just goes to prove how necessary the president's illegal wiretapping program is! I mean...if Bob Newhart is Al Qaeda, who next? May Tyler Moore?!
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